Seeking the Advice of Others
Congratulations! You said, “Yes!” You announce your engagement. The first question you get is, “When is your big day?” You finally set the date, reach the date, say your “I dos” and get the next question from well-meaning family and friends. “So when are you having kids?” The pressure is on! Do you ask for advice, or does it just pour out of them?
Entering a marriage can be overwhelming because of the pressures from others. Suddenly everyone is full of advice for you. Your family and friends honestly believe that they are helping you when they grace you with their knowledge. The best, though, is when your fiancé or new spouse’s family and friends tell you how to have a successful marriage. Everyone believes their words of wisdom are the very words you need to build the foundation of your marriage.
The advice of others may be perfect and wonderful, even encouraging, but you cannot base your marriage on them. Instead of using the words of family and friends, try using the words of God. The Bible has numerous verses that relate to marriage and the way we treat each other. Search the Bible for the word “love” and see what advice you find.
God designed marriage. He never intended for us to muddle through it alone. He wants you to seek Him and His advice for you and your spouse. There are plenty of pressures from family and friends. They want to tell you when to have kids, where to live, how to handle your money and your arguments. While they may have good intentions, they may not have the same goals and morals for your marriage that God has.
Never underestimate the power of communication. First of all, communicate with God. Read the Bible, listen to Him when He speaks to you. Pray! Your prayers for your spouse and your marriage will create the rock-hard foundation that will keep your marriage stable. Secondly, communicate with your spouse. Don’t let anger get in the way of your ability to talk about situations and issues. Make sure each of you gets a chance to cool down and think, but always come back together to discuss the problems. Don’t wait for a fight to discuss things that matter to you. If you are concerned about an issue, bring it up when everyone is in a good mood!
Your friends and family will always have advice. Just remember that God does too!